Funny Quotes - Part1

 

Quotes		Source
It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something.		Jack Handey
I am at two with nature.		Woody Allen
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.		Woody Allen
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.		Woody Allen
If its sanity you are after there is no recipe like laughter.		Henry Elliot
Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are, and what they ought to be.		William Hazlitt
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.		Mark Twain
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.		Sir Francis Bacon
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs -- jolted by every pebble in the road.		Henry W Beecher
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.		Aristotle