Funny Quotes - Part4

Quotes		Source
I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.		Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.		Alex Levine
A woman drove me to drink ... and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her.		W C Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.		W C Fields
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.		George Burns
Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.		Unknown
The only real diet: If it tastes good ... spit it out.		Unknown
An optimist laughs to forget. A pessimist forgets to laugh.		Unknown
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.		Winston Churchill
One of the best things people can have up their sleeve is a funny bone		Unknown
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.		Groucho Marx