Funny Quotes - Part3

Quotes		Source
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.		Will Rogers
A great step toward independence is a good humored stomach.		Lucius A Seneca
A good laugh is sunshine in a house.		William M Thackeray
Once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.		Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister ... and now wish to withdraw that statement.		Mark Twain
Santa Claus has the right idea ... visit people only once a year.		Victor Borge
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir ... mighty scarce.		Mark Twain
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.		Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.		Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.		Jimmy Durante